Maybe Someday
by xblissfuloblivion
Summary: Ray's letter to Neela. Spoilers for 14x04 'Gravity'. My take on a certain scene.


**Title:** Maybe Someday

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything.

**Rating:** FRM. For language.

**Spoilers:** 14x04 'Gravity'.

**Author's Note:** After reading the spoilers for 14x04 'Gravity' this fic sparked. My version of what Ray could have written in his letter to Neela. Excuse any mistakes, sorry it's 10 at night but I had to write it down.

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**Maybe Someday**

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Neela gasped for a breath as she made her way up the stairs to Abby's apartment. She knew she shouldn't have been over exerting herself to such levels, given her current condition but right now she couldn't possibly give two hoots about it. Her hands fumbled furiously in her pockets for her keys, as she finally won the battle with the door and opened it to the empty apartment, she thanked God that for _once_ Abby wasn't guarding her every move. Her mind quickly pushed all thoughts aside as she pulled the letter out of her jacket pocket. She scrutinized every single detail of the envelope. There was no doubt about it, no way she was making a mistake or hallucinating she'd know the owner of this writing anywhere. She'd had enough of post -it notes of reminders and apologies with this writing, it most definitely was Ray's haphazard scrawl etched onto the front of the envelope. As she blindly dropped herself down onto the couch the millions of possible replies he could've of given her, the millions of possible ways that he could've said that he didn't care, that he didn't give a fuck about how she was dealing, the millions of possible ways that he could of said that they were through. Done. Over. Finished.

_'Stop it, Neela!'_ she scolded herself. _'Don't bloody well jump to conclusions as yet. He replied, that's gotta count for something, right?'_

She gulped as she nervously slit open the envelope. She could see her hands visibly shaking with each passing moment, still nothing could possibly measure up to the dull, aching sensation she was feeling inside. A piece of paper fell out of the envelope and glided gently onto the floor. She instantly dived after it, as if she was protecting it with her life. She gulped as she opened each of the careful folds the tension rapidly rising. Her eyes scanned the writing, cherishing. drinking in every word.

_Dear, Neela._

Okay, that was plain, open, neutral, nothing that said 'get fucked'.

_This is probably about the hundredth time I'm attempting to write this. Literally. _

A sad smile spread on her face. That was Ray. Even after everything he was still making light of things.

_Well, I got your letter, no duh, why the hell would I be replying --- there I go rambling. Geez! This is hard, please bear in mind that I'm not the type of guy that can easily pour out his feelings onto a sheet of paper, (that is apart from writing music of course!)._

_What can I say? I'm doing fine, thanks, considering. I've being doing physio for a while now and guess what? Good news, I'm being fitted for prosthetics next week._

Her face clouded as she read the next words.

_But enough about me. I know you probably didn't want me to know...but Abby called me, Neela. She told me what happened, what happened to you. For fuck's sake, Neela. Why didn't you tell me? Even after everything...everything that's happened...I **do** still care about you, I **do** still want to be called when you're nearly dying not finally weeks after it's happened! And please do not give me the bull about not wanting me to worry, about me having to deal with so much already! I don't even want to think of what I'd have done if something...if something had happened to you._

He cared? She felt happiness washing over her, but it was short lived as she read his next words.

_I know you want to go back to how things were, I want to, too but seriously, is that possible? Really? I mean c'mon we've never had an easy road with our relationship. You know how I feel about you, it's not as simple as just forgetting about it, alot's changed over these past years, these past **months **to ensure that, that can't happen. I really want things to just get back to how they were but...right now it's just too hard, I don't think I'm ready to deal with it all...just yet. But maybe someday..._

_For now how about we just take things easy for a while. Okay?_

_Love,_

_Ray_

_P.S: And just between the two of us I do miss you too._

She let out a sigh that she didn't know she'd been holding in. So he hadn't forgiven her, he wasn't ready as yet, she couldn't say that she wasn't disappointed because that would've been a lie but she couldn't say that she hadn't expected him to forgive her either. But at least he did miss her. That had to count for something as well, right?

And like he'd said.

_Maybe someday..._

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What did you think? 


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